In Another Life: What We Say When We’re Afraid to Begin

“In another life” is a term being used a lot more often these days when relating to media such as books, movies, people on social media, etc… This phrase implies that someone wants to do something, but doesn’t have the time, will, ability, or whatever it may be, to pursue it. People often use this phrase in a metaphorical context when referring to a hobby or interest they have outside of what they are actively pursuing. You may have heard this phrase tucked into TikTok captions, whispered in conversations, or casually tossed around about the version of themselves that people never became. In some cultures, this is also used in a religious context when touching on past lives and the concept of rebirth and karma. Until recently, I used this phrase in metaphorical circumstances. That is, until I really sat and thought about it.

 As a first year college student, I understand how fortunate I am to have the circumstances that had to align for me to get where I am now, and I realize not everyone has that opportunity. College drop out rates currently fall at 32.9% and about $3.8 billion is lost annually as a result of college dropouts (Craft, 2024). 32% of these dropouts are because of financial hardships. To explore this, I interviewed Daphne Pruitt, a third year psychology student at the University of Oregon.

She says to me, “I feel like I'm in a lucky position where my parents were like, we don't really care what you do. You're going to college, because neither of my parents got the opportunity. So they're like, [we] don't really care what you major in. [We] don't care what comes out [of it]. You're going to college.” But Pruitt also knows that many students don’t have that flexibility. “Whereas I think a lot of people— like that's my parents' attitude, but a lot of people it's like they have to major in something that's like a good return on investment, because college is expensive.”

In a survey done by Discover Student Loans, it revealed that almost 50% of parents are limiting their child’s college options  based on price: “The number of adults who say earning potential is more important to their child's education than what they major in is up, at 42% vs. 38% last year, the survey shows.” It’s no wonder so many people toss about such a heavy phrase such as “in another life”. So many dreams feel like luxuries today.

“...If it was much cheaper, I feel like I would be a lot more comfortable. Like, really committing to a full switch and being like, I'm just going to do it.” Pruitt says. “If it takes me a little longer, who cares? I want to do it.”

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics (NCES), “Within 3 years of initial enrollment, about 30 percent of undergraduates in associate's and bachelor's degree programs who had declared a major had changed their major at least once.” It is extremely common for students’ interests to change in college as first year students are meeting new people, taking new classes, and learning about different points of views.

“I just kind of found out about myself at college. I was just anxious. I needed to choose something.” Pruitt responds when asked why she didn’t major in politics, another route she is very passionate about. “I think it was just fear of… I don't know if I want to do that for the rest of my life. The thought of sitting at a desk for the next 60 years till I retire… sounds like it sucks. I need to change what I do. And that's also another reason I chose psychology, because it's very normal to do that there.”

Pruitt is far from alone in this scenario. Many students feel pressured to make a choice in fear out of not wanting to disappoint someone, waste money, or waste time. Which brings us back, again, to “in another life”.

Pruitt hears this term often. “I feel like I talked to a lot of people, they're like, Oh, I wish I did this, I wish I did this. And I know I'm sitting here saying that…” But, she grew up watching her parents reinvent themselves. “I know, at least with my parents, if they want to do something, they just do it. They're like, yeah, so when I'm 50, I'm going to start my own business that I've never done before. I think that's really inspired me.”

“In another life” can be a tasteful way to express regret. Or it can be a reminder that there’s still time to change your mind. “You know what? You only get one life. What's the worst case?”

Sources: 

Picking college, major, comes down to money 

Beginning College Students Who Change Their Majors Within 3 Years of Enrollment. 

Image created by P.K. Rector

About the author: P.K. is a freshman studying advertising and science communication and is also in her first term working for Align! In her free time, she enjoys writing, sipping / making coffee, being active, listening to Phoebe Bridgers, and attending Broadway musicals! She is always looking for someone to nerd out with over a cup of Joe while dissecting the Catcher in the Rye and whatever new music just dropped. You can find more of her work at peeksandpieces.wordpress.com and her instagram @pkrector!