The Forbidden Fruit Effect: Why do we Chase After the Unknown?
Throughout my life, I have entertained the idea of the opposite: the thing just out of reach, on the other side of the fence, where the grass is always greener. I’ve always likened it to having an open mind. Still, perhaps I want it all, or maybe it’s fun to have something that exists in that strange space between fantasy and reality—something that is obtainable but certainly difficult to attain. I originally came up with the idea to write about this subject while reflecting on my experiences as a Eugene transplant (if you can call it that). Being raised in NYC and then moving out west to fulfill an identity I had yet to unlock brought me many newfound insights, one of which is that Portlandia wasn’t too far off. But the most common reaction when speaking with someone, usually someone from the West Coast, is: Why would I ever leave NYC? "Isn’t that where it’s happening?" they ask, usually followed by, "NYC is where I’m trying to go; why would you ever leave?"
While my reasons for leaving NYC are more complex than simply wanting to wear a West Coast hat, these conversations have really focused on the fact that everyone wants to experience what has been just out of reach for themselves. These experiences are not completely unattainable, but they are more difficult, like moving across the country difficult. This expectation and sought-after unknown are not limited to space but also to relationships, substances, etc. All the things our parents warned us about—I know I at least wanted to try on some level, and then some of those things I did. And can I let you in on a secret? Most of the time, these things weren’t as revolutionary as I had made them out to be. In no way have I regretted my move to Eugene. Packing up my little red Honda Fit on a whim and moving across the country is what I’ve needed for the time being. But is it the Rock N Roller Coaster my imagination ran wild with three years ago? Of course not. Just like all the situationships turned romances, or vacations with too many expectations, it will never be what we expect.
"Expectations will be the death of you," my mother often warned me. Yet we build certain people, places, and things up to be a grandiose version of themselves, either because the media has ascribed these qualities, or the element of danger is intriguing. So, I turned to Google to help me deduce this phenomenon—this endless craving for something more and something unknown or unattainable. The forbidden fruit phenomenon is what the web browser regurgitated. The apparent reference is to Adam and Eve, plucking the apple from the Garden of Eden. A more culturally relevant reference (maybe dated) is the Desperate Housewives intro, which clearly depicts this biblical moment. For those who haven’t seen the show, it is an early 2000s soap drama about, well, desperate housewives who often entertain scandals.
The never-ending drama, the intrigue, the gasps, and the sensations are what keep viewers hooked for all eight seasons. This leads me to a point about media and sensationalism. The narratives and archetypes that are fed to us allow us to form our own fantasies. For instance, although NYC is credited as a place of happenings in its own right, this appeal is reiterated with stories like Sex and the City or Gossip Girl; the idea of it is perhaps more sensational than its reality. And while I am sure Chucks and Blairs, Mirandas and Carries exist in the city, it’s not the version that I have known.
A study shows that people are attracted to this forbidden fruit due to perceptions of importance and memory availability. The “risky stimuli” perpetrated through media and social standards create beliefs that can lead people to “infer hidden value[s]” about things that are unattainable or taboo—the scarcity amplifies the value behind items that are deemed “forbidden” (Fitzgibbon et al., 2020). Or think of that trend where the baby is told not to eat the plate of cookies in front of him. Of course, that will only make him want to eat it MORE. Of course, when your situationship doesn’t text you back, that will only make you want them MORE.
We (I) put too much emphasis on the narratives, not only those that the media drives but also those we hope to discover for ourselves. The lack of information about a thing, in whatever regard, makes us curious. I’m not telling you not to be curious, but does the fascination have to do with genuine intrigue or a lack of understanding? It is only our brains' natural pattern to seek out more in something we don’t understand.
Sources: