Embracing the Frizzy Wave: Accepting My Natural Hair

For the entirety of high school, I spent at least 30 minutes each morning sitting in front of the mirror with a very hot flat iron and a minimal amount of heat protectant. I would look around each of my classes and count the number of girls who wore their hair straight. I would seethe with jealousy at my best friend’s pin straight and naturally shiny locks. 

Growing up, most of the media I consumed featured teenage girls with straight hair. The “makeover” scene of my favorite childhood movie, The Princess Diaries, was primarily a hair straightener with a little blush and lipstick. The books I read described main characters with straight blonde hair. My own mother, who has a very similar hair type to mine, kept her hair straightened or in buns to avoid the hassle. 

Over time, I learned that boys liked straight hair better. Girls gave more compliments when my hair was styled with heat. Instagram comments doubled. Waves or curls were seen as “messy” and “unprofessional.” Desperate for validation, I kept my hair straightened throughout high school. Unfortunately, I was also damaging my hair, putting 400° on it daily. 

I never knew how to care for my hair. I would wash, brush, and go to sleep with it wet. In the morning, I would wake up to spend time with my heat products. It wasn’t until I started college that someone realized my hair wasn’t naturally straight. My wavy-haired roommate saw me brushing out my hair after a shower one night and commented that our hair types were more similar than she thought. I’ve thought my roommate’s hair was beautiful since the first day I met her. Why didn’t I allow myself to feel the same way about myself? 

After that conversation, I was an observer. I watched the people in my classes, eating in the dining halls, walking around campus, and making mental notes of their hair types. I tallied up the women who embraced their natural waves, girls with frizz similar to mine. 

I came back from my first term of college with a slew of recommended products from both friends and TikTok. My roommate helped me discover what worked best for me, giving me tips along the way. Did you know that you should always scrunch your hair upside down to bring volume to the top? I do, thanks to Charlotte. I surrounded myself with people who wore their hair naturally. I complimented other women on their hair more and more. 

After much trial and error, I’ve finally found a routine that works for me, using cream, mouse, and gel. My 2B hair often has frizz, but it is what makes me me. I’ve gotten positive feedback on my change, especially from other women. I won’t lie – I still straighten my hair at least once a week, but change doesn’t happen overnight. Loving myself in the body I was given is always a work in progress, but hair is one more step towards acceptance. My physical appearance is not defined by my hairstyle. I have learned that I can still feel beautiful wearing my hair naturally, and this authenticity has made me more confident in myself than a hair straightener ever did. 

About the Author:

Mia Lange is a first-year student majoring in public relations and minoring in sociology. She enjoys hiking, reading, and pickleball.